I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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