You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
