OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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