I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
