I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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