totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
