She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
