my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just pee around me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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