Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize