Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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