So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Send help, water and tortillas.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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