he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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