She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
