oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
