I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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