You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
