I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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