Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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