I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
