ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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