I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
