So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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