No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
