the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
