There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
