I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do vagina's smell?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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