lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
