I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We smell like vodka and hangover
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