i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
