Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
