He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
