i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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