Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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