i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
