I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
