non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
