Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
