she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
