Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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