So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Shitshow foam night was such a success
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
