question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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