He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
