another moral hangover. fuck.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize