You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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