Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
