big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I am morally bankrupt
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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