I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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