She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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