You just made me feel so damn special
i just google imaged poop.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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