and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
