I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
