Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
