i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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