I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
