She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
