How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
