I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
