another moral hangover. fuck.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
