Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
