Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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