Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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