The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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